Is it possible to be so vastly overstimulated, yet understimulated at the same time? This is a question that has been circulating through my mind throughout the entirety of this COVID-19 pandemic. As we find ourselves quarantined to our homes for the foreseeable future, the transition from a daily routine that was regularly filled with social interaction, packed classrooms, and shared workspaces has drastically shifted into a completely isolating lifestyle for many – seemingly in the blink of an eye.
While taking precautionary measures and staying indoors as much as possible is absolutely necessary to stop the spread of this virus, this time has been almost akin to an experiment of how humanity can function without its normal routine. Who do we become when we are forced into a completely new way of living overnight?
For many – myself included – these unprecedented times have been incredibly challenging; the weight of this pandemic weighing down on us like a heavy fog that won’t seem to dissipate. I wondered why, at times, I feel extraordinarily unmotivated and lackluster, and it wasn’t until I read this Harvard Business Review article that it all started to come together for me. The article features an interview with a renowned grief expert, David Kessler, who explains that we can pinpoint our feelings of discomfort during this pandemic back to a sense of loss.
While this may not be the way we typically think of grief, it’s fair to say that many aspects of our lives have been put on pause, or completely skipped altogether. Our daily meetings have been replaced with Zoom calls, our walks through grocery stores are seeped with caution, and our overall sense of freedom has been revoked from us. When you think of the logistics behind our new circumstances, it becomes easier to understand why we feel the way we do.
It’s been interesting to see how people have each coped with this unexpected curveball of quarantine that we’ve been thrown. While many have faced increased mental health challenges, others have found that their mental health has actually improved because the abundance of free time has allowed them to take a step back actually process their feelings. In a strange way, this unique time period has banded us all together in some ways, because many are finding it easier to open up to friends, family, and colleagues about how they’re really feeling without a sense of shame attached to it. If this time can lead us to a place of collective vulnerability, then we will not have walked out empty handed.
Others, on the other hand, are preaching what is really called “toxic positivity.” I have personally struggled with this phenomenon even before this pandemic: often thinking that I was never productive enough or creative enough, or social enough…and the list goes on and on. To me, it seems as though this feeling of dread I get when I compare my productivity levels to those of others I see on social media has only heightened during this global pandemic.
Oftentimes, when I see a Picasso-esqe masterpiece from an influencer on Instagram alongside a quote telling me to “make use of my ample free time by cleaning out a closet in my house,” I feel the urge to throw my phone across the room instead of actually hunkering down and being productive. (Admittedly, this article actually took me about three weeks to finally sit down and write, simply because I lacked the motivation to even start typing out my thoughts).
Another article by Aisha S. Ahmad lays out an incredibly helpful, step-by-step guide meant to help you adjust to your new normal. She stresses that “now more than ever, we must abandon the performative and embrace the authentic.” Instead of trying to fit yourself into a mold and trying to outshine the person next to you with your productivity, use this time to internally reflect. If you feel called to paint, try a new workout, or even – dare I say it – clean out a closet, then, by all means, do it! There’s nothing wrong with positing on social media, either, if you feel that something you’re doing could make someone else laugh or alleviate their discomfort. But, now more than ever before, it’s important to be mindful of your audience and know that some may be more sensitive to this pandemic than others. It’s not a time for a “one size fits all” mindset.
If this pandemic has shown us anything, it’s the sobering reality that the world doesn’t revolve around us. It’s a humbling reminder that, in order to move past this unexpected time, we must take the blinders off and expand our mindset beyond our individual worries. We can mourn our canceled plans, trips, and events while still considering the wellbeing the greater good. Looking out for each other and practicing compassion for our neighbors is not just something that is “nice to have,” but vital in moving past a time of great struggle.
I’ve found that it’s easier to practice gratitude when everything is constantly changing beyond my control. Focusing on the things you have access to – like fresh air and sunlight on a walk around the neighborhood, the comfort of a pet, a hobby to keep your mind occupied, and the relationships you have with friends and family really go a long way during times like these. If you’re upset, let yourself be upset. If you’re feeling productive, then try something new. But the most important part of this is to allow yourself to feel. The time we spend doing the internal work is the most important, and when we all reach a shared state of acceptance with ourselves and the world around us, we will finally be able to heal.
P.S. if you’re able to do so – please consider donating to a charity or giving food service workers a bigger tip than usual. Here are some links to ways you can help:
Donate to Global Giving’s Coronavirus Relief Fund
Donate to Direct Relief’s Coronavirus Response Fund
Donate to Feeding America’s COVID-19 Response Fund
Also, check out these articles on Robb Report and Esquire to see a masterlist of charities and ways you can help during the pandemic.
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